I am tired. I just feel weary, you know; too many irons in the fire. But the thing is, they are good works, serving and helping and tending to those in need - service to the church. But I neglected to care for myself and for my family. And God is not honored in that. After hearing of another Godly couple, ravaged by loss in their marriage, I am reminded again to come home. Come home.
Service, especially to the church and neighbors and the community is so good, so so good. But if it flows out of your own effort or out of order from God, Family, Church - it is just a ticking time bomb. It's just a matter of time. Service in God's Kingdom keeps your sword sharp, not beats you to a pulp.
I sat down to post a tweet and skim my feed; this message from our pastor seemed emboldened across my computer screen.
Call me old-fashioned, but I would rather have my life full of His presence, then simply with His strategy for our church.
I clicked the link for his blog (JoeChampion.com), and read his post with tears streaming down my face. He talked of the shield of faith and how it protects us, and how a shield in this day was not made of iron and steel like we think of, but rather of leather. Leather must be bathed in oil, the process takes days for battle, otherwise it will shrivel and crack, leaving you defenseless. Our shield, our shield of faith, our time in the presence of God, in His word (really in His Word and His presence) must be protected so that we can fight the good fight. Pastor Joe said:
I truly believe that death (in ministry) is the result of a process, not a single event. When a leader sacrifices his worship time with God, and gets carried away with all kinds of other priorities, we become dry and brittle. And produce dry and brittle followers and churches.
And I look in the mirror and see that I have sacrificed time with God for "serving" in areas that while they are good areas cannot produce fruit without Him, and I have neglected to serve the way He told me to, when He told me to, in His grace. I am tired, and my family has not been cared for well.
I neglected my shield, and failed to recognize the honor it is to be the caretaker of my husband and children, and to be the person that nurtures them into the people God intends for them to become.
It's time to oil my shield.