I've felt that way lately. God and I have been going through some things together, and I feel like I keep coming back to the same issues. I think, "God, I thought I had already gone through this, why am I here again? Why am I not further along?"
But He's just been reminding me that one, those dreams are placed in our heart for a reason, submit them to Him, trust in His timing, and I'll see them come to fruition. But also, for His blessings to be blessings and not a burden, He has to build strength and character in us, or we'll fall.
Jesus tells all who feel tired to come to Him, to watch Him and work with Him, He'll show us how to really rest. But the phrase that He keeps playing over and over in my head is His "unforced rythms of grace" (Matt 11 Message translation).
When I googled the word "unforced" this is the response I got from Answers.com
- Done by one's own choice: free, spontaneous, uncompelled, volitional, voluntary, willful. See willing/unwilling.
Unforced rythms of grace. It ebbs and flows naturally, we just have to relax into His arms, His current of grace - it's a gentle song, lovely waves, drawing us ever closer to His plan. Think of a sunny day floating down the river; your lying back on your float, eyes closed, as the warmth of the sun touches your face, and you close your eyes and allow the waves gracefully carry you down the river...unforced rythms of grace.
And as I fall into that, I see progress, but I still feel like I should be further, I'm going around the same mountain. Tonight God gave me this image - when you look at the roads on a mountain they rarely climb straight up and down, they wind around the mountain, easing you to the top, so even though you may have come to that side of the mountain before - this time you are higher. And even though you may have been around this mountain before - this time it is a shorter trip around. And all the while building the strength to be able to stand at the top.
I'm holding on to this tonight, that I am making progress, and everything is in His time and season. I need to enjoy this season for now.