Friday, July 15, 2011

I really dislike talking on the phone.  It just feels like a terrible barrier to good communication.  It makes me uncomfortable because I feel like you have to sound perky the whole time and you can never see any of the other person's nonverbal communication.  Plus, most of the time, there are children demanding attention or noises going on in the background or two people without really anything to say to each other just rambling on to talk...my least favorite thing to do. 

If someone has something quick to say - why not just send a text or an email or a message on facebook where I can send a quick reply without interrupting anything else.  Or if there is something deep to say, I love getting emails and letters where I can think it over and respond.

However, with Scott and a couple of close friends who live far away, we do make specific dates to talk on the phone uninterrupted.  We have catching up to do and real things to say.  Otherwise it just feels that people expect others to be available by various outlets 24-7 and that kind of stresses me out! 

When I tell most people this, they look at me like I'm an alien.  I just really pretty content with my life and want to be available in it; talking on the phone feels like an interruption of real life happening.  There are only two people I am always available to - Scott and Laurelei (or whomever happens to be watching her)...whoops, make that three...Mason too (but him and I are pretty well always connected these days...the nature of pregnancy :) )

Maybe I'm just not cut out for the 21st century...sometimes I think that's true, but maybe other people feel this way too, like its asking something of me that I didn't offer to give.  I just turn my phone off or don't know where it is when I'm at home - is that so crazy?

The truth is, I know it's not, I know it is healthy for me.  That's how I operate best.  I am totally available to those whom I have made myself available, and if others want to get in touch with me, a phone call is just not the best way to do it...takes too much time and energy that I'd rather invest somewhere else.  And I make time to check texts and emails when I can.  But I try to stay present in real life.

But I can't help feeling a little guilty and wishing I were different sometimes - everyone else seems to have adapted to this...maybe I could start a revolution.  Maybe I just need to wear a sign that says, I don't want to talk on the phone just to talk about nothing, and if you really want to get in touch with me, here's how, but I am not available 24/7 like the rest of the world...that's probably too long.  Sigh.

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