"Those who are least loveable need love the most." Man I hated it when she said that!
Today I shared a troubling stituation with a friend. I shared the pain of the experience, the relief of freedom, and the constant burden of the emotional turmoil and wondering whether or not I behaved poorly. She told me that it just sounds like this person is hurting and unhappy, and it felt that suddenly that wall of anger that I had built came crumbling down. I understand - she is unhappy, unhappy with her life, her relationships, her career, and herself; all she has is to control others impressions of her to feel that at least others think she has it together. And my very presence threatened that because I called her on it. Only a truly unhappy person would act so, and that breaks my heart. I wish that I could have helped her, but someone people don't want help or to change, they just fight to stay in control of what they can.
All this to say, it is much easier to forgive and let go when you realize that hurting people hurt people. Dear Lord I pray that you provide her the safety of relationships who will allow her the love and grace to change, that she will be known and loved for her true self. And oh Lord I pray that for me also, for friends that will hold me accountable and lovingly call me out when I need it. You are graceful Father, thank you for a word well spoken.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
In all my communication classes we have talked a million times about perception - I can now easilly switch back and forth between the picture of the young woman and the old lady. Both are equally true, real, there for all to see if they choose to dig. After this being ingrained in my head a million times, I am still stunned at how two people can converse and completely miss the point of the other's communication - they are discussing two totally different pictures.