Wednesday, April 29, 2009

On Church

What is our role in the "church"? The answer begins, first, by defining what we mean by church. I mean there is the body of Christ, being all believers, past, present, future, united in our cause of bringing the Kingdom of God to earth and spreading the Word. Then there is the institution of church. There are so many denomenations, worship styles, ideologies, whatever...the fact is that all that is useless without the direction of the Lord to say - Here, this is where I have you to be, and how, this is how I have you to serve.
Our dear friends remind us that while searching perhaps for the specific church body that we are going to align ourselves with in cause and community service, we must remember to stay in the community of believers who will remind us that life is not about us. As we search for the church home to challenge us and grow us, that needs the gifts that God has given us to offer, and that will nurture our relationship with the Lord, one another, and foster Laurelei's growth into a fully equiped follower of Christ, will you, my brothers and sisters, will you pray for us? Pray that God will teach us to think of church in the way that we should, that He would give us wisdom, direction, and that we would clearly hear His voice, fervently follow His direction, and diligently pursue the place He has for us until such time as we are sure of His call. And that God would give us the desire and strength to commit to the calling He has placed on our lives, and that until we find the church home that we would not use that as an excuse to become so wrapped up in our own lives that we cease to serve the people we come in contact with daily, weekly, etc.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Prayer

Oh Lord You are so good! I praise you for your gift of prayer and the power of intercession. Thank You for the power of prayer between husband and wife and between dear friends. You are a great and mighty God who bestows blessings on His people.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

His Truth Shall Be Revealed in Due Time

"I waited patiently for the Lord; He inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction,out of the miry bog,and set my feet upon a rock,making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth,a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear,and put their trust in the Lord." (Psalm 40:3)

For months I have been battling with the loan company. Per the terms of my promissary note, if I am out of class for more than six months my loan goes into repayment. I worked hard to be in school when Laurelei was two months old often getting up at 4am to do my school work before she got up. The loan compnay wouldn't accept numerous papers that showed that, they kept calling to collect a debt. Calling my grandparents who cosigned on the loan. I told them I had done what I needed to do, but I think eventually they just didn't believe me because the loan company was telling them that I needed to do something else. I finally caved and just filled out a forbearance form, even though I knew I shouldn't have to and it would only last a year, but they said that was the last form they needed to keep it out of repayment.

Today I received a letter from them saying that they were unable to process my request for deferrment because my loan was in its grace period - exactly what I had been telling them all along. No payments are due now. Thank you, thank you, thank you Jesus. This is an answer to prayer. You have revealed the truth in due time. You have rewarded my hard work and diligence, you have forgiven my my transgressions, You have restored me to hope and encouragement. What a beautiful, beautiful blessing. The blessing that we celebrate at Easter of eternal salvation, of forgiveness, of sacrifice and grace is more than enough. But this reminder of Your Love and Favour Father, this reminder makes it even sweeter to my memory. Thank You Lord.

Friday, April 10, 2009

My Dreams

The two biggest dreams that I have had throughout my life are: to sing and to write. They are dreams so personal, so close to my heart, and so filled with fear. What if I am really not a good singer or not a good writer. More people than I can ever count have told me that I am good at both, but the few that thought "eh" have continued to stand out in my mind each time I think that perhaps this is what I am meant to do.

Maybe another dream would also be teaching.

I have also dreamt of getting married and having a family. This dream is in fruitition at this moment. These precious moments with my beautiful girl and my dear husband.

Letting Go

Yesterday and today I sifted through all my "memories" and decided what to keep and what to trash. There is only room for so much stuff, and it is ridiculous to drag around a bunch of junk for sentiment's sake. I can't clog my family like that. After 10 years in our precious home, my parents have decided that it is time for them to move. That wasn't the plan you know; the plan was that this was the dream house, the house we built with our own hands. This was the house they were supposed to live in forever. And both Kati and I had our allotted amount of space to store treasures and projects so that each time when we came home we could go exploring the attic and relive those memories, moments, accomplishments. We were supposed to bring our children back there to explore those memories too - treasure hunting. It was not to be.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

An Identity Crisis, You Say

"Identity Crisis" defined - distress and disorientation (especially in adolescence) resulting from conflicting pressures and uncertainty about and one's self and one's role in society

May I just say that this is exactly (minus the adolescence part) what I have been experiencing. For how long? One can only speculate. But for certain since the moment I found out I was pregnant or the moment my girly was born, I have been having an identity crisis.

I thought I needed to find myself, go back to my old self, or just be someone else. Though I am not inclined to follow all her advice, she often has a person on her show that offers a word that speaks to me. You know who I am talking about - Oprah, of course. Yesterday she had on the authors of a book entitled, "I'd Trade My Husband for a Housekeeper". They spoke about the dishonesty or rather withholding of information found especially, it seems, among moms. There are just so many things no one ever told you. Anyway, they went on to say that once you become a mom you can never return to the person you once were; for the rest of your life you are tethered in some form to this other human being and you will never be the same - how discouraging, right. Wrong. She went on to say that you must reinvent yourself.

Reinvent myself? I have done that before, and you know what, I can do that again. It is time now to reinvent me, and the only reason I need to look back on the old me is to remind myself that I have done this before with discipline and diligence and the Lord will help me to do this again. It is time to be, to become that great woman that I am meant to be, that I want to be, that is me.